Yep. I have been a blog slacker.
Today though something has been going through my mind so much that I felt the need to blog about it…..
Some of you may know that I had to have abdominal surgery. It all went well, and everything is fine….I am just finishing up “recovery time” which my surgeon says is 4-6 weeks. Which does not seem like much but 4-6 weeks of not lifting my kiddos feels like an eternity! It also comes at a time when Jon is also healing a broken foot and he is generally my back up muscle. So we are stuck! I pretty much have felt helpless.
So……what this means is my mom and sister have been taking turns sleeping on my couch, my dad is driving Boston to ABA therapy everyday and Brooklyn’s nurse (thanks Laquita) is working extra hours, even my brother in law (thanks Josh!) and one of Jon’s friends (thank you Sean!) has stopped over to carry kids upstairs. I pretty much have relied on someone else around the clock for SIX WEEKS and I hate it. It has been so frustrating. I hate depending on other people to take care of me (and my family!) Don’t get me wrong – I am so VERY blessed to have them in my life, I do not know what I would do without them!
For some reason this made me think of Brooklyn today. It made me think of how she depends on me (and others) for everything. I was fed up over a short span of six weeks – I can only imagine the frustration she has after dealing with this for nine years. Rett Syndrome is so frustrating for so many reasons but I imagine “depending on others” has to rank up there at the top.
At nine years old I imagine Brooklyn being frustrated with things like:
* Waiting for my mom to come get me out of bed in the morning, when I really wish I could bounce down the steps and crash on the couch to tune into my favorite shows or read the latest book I am reading or get to the next level on my ipad game.
* Waiting on my mom to notice my hair is totally hanging in my face, which REALLY itches or sometimes even my headband comes completely down over my eyes – hey mom, YOU try watching One Direction with a headband covering your face!
* I really wanted to wear the polka dot leggings with the pink shirt but mom missed it when I glanced at it so I’m stuck wearing the jeans instead.
* My socks are curled up under my toes in these shoes but no one noticed, it is going to be a long uncomfortable day!
* I really wish I could have some friends over but mom has not asked me if I want to, I wish I could just TELL HER I want to hang out with my friends! I love my mom, but she gets boring sometimes lol.
* UGH you started reading my book two chapters AFTER where my nurse left off – now I do not know what is going on. So frustrating!
You get the idea….she depends on me, her nurse, her aide at school, grammy, and dozens of other people for everything. I experienced like 1% of that as I healed and hated it. I hope she knows that despite the frustration she undoubtedly has depending on me – I will absolutely be there for her. Trying my best to pick up on her signals, read her eyes, anticipate her needs and wants. I will fail (probably daily) but I will ALWAYS be there to try! I love you Brookie!