We are six days into Autism Awareness Month and I have not blogged. (I know – you are not shocked – I have been quite the blog slacker the past few months) Anyway, this is a tough one. I feel like I just “celebrated” World Down Syndrome Day – oh…because we did…just last month! Now…here we are with another awareness post. This time for Autism. This time not as much of a “celebration.”
Often times during awareness posts you read loving sentiments on how “I would not change my child for the world.” I am not one of those people. I would change him in a heart beat. If God spoke to me right now and said “Do you want me to take Autism from Boston?” I would not hesitate for even a second. Yes. Yes please.
This might sound harsh.
I in no way mean I do not love my son. I do, with my entire heart and soul, I love him so much it hurts. I just HATE the struggles that Autism brings into our life. This post probably stems from Easter being this past weekend. Oh how I long to have a “typical” holiday but it is just not in the cards. No easter egg hunts for Boston, no diving into a basket, no church even, and that stinks. Often times holidays are my worst times for falling into the “why me?” “why my kids” type of questions. It is for sure when my envy for the typical life creeps in and I hate it. I hate feeling like that.
I think we have an added degree of difficulty with the duel diagnosis of Down Syndrome and Autism and it is frustrating. For the longest time I felt like we did not belong. We did not “fit in” with the Down Syndrome organizations nor did we “fit in” with the Autism groups. Thank goodness for the Down Syndrome Autism Connection. Ahhhhhh – these are my people :) They get me. Their kiddos are so similar to Boston – it is amazing. Their support/advice/encouragement is just what I was searching for!
So, while I feel like most of my awareness crosses over to both diagnosis’ – one thing is for sure we are aware in this household – VERY aware and I pray that we can help educate others.